wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
