Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
