Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't deserve a penis
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
