I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
