Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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