just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You're like the curious george of whores
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
