Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
