I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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