My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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