don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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