wanna go halves on a baby?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
