you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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