The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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