so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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