we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
