I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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