before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
