I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
