I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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