He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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