Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
