The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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