We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
