Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So here I am, sexting at work.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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