we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Buhtt sex?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
