She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
