I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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