you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
