I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
