If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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