Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
