Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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