i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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