ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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