The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
