i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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