She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't deserve a penis
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
