I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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