come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
