you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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