why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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