I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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