So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
