you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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