nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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