Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
