would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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