Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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