Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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