been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
