billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
