Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
