idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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